We can remember it for you wholesale (2014)
Around here the beautiful girls travel at the speed of light
2014. Work in progress
Hello…I know you can hear me…I know you’re listening Bill…I have what you need…this is no time to run…come back Bill…come back…I have what you need…I believe in you…Let’s face it, you were born with this affliction…it courses through your very soul… you can’t deny the soul what it needs…what would be the purpose of living otherwise? You tried to run…but we know how that turned out don’t we Bill? I own you…….
I know it’s not always easy, but you submitted to this path, accepted that it was destined for you and along it you walk alone…you have been treading it a good many years now… Don’t fight it, feel it…Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, you remember that book don’t you Bill? This fear that you have that has petrified you, it’s amateurish…come on Bill, you have lived, loved, lost…you have felt pain…you know what it is to struggle… you can overcome it …Leap into the void…jump into the abyss…deface it, scar it…make it impure so that you might unleash an almighty rain upon it…I know you’re fear…Fear is goood…Channel it…release it through action…You tried meditating didn’t you Bill? You went to the Buddhist centre last week in some attempt to dispel negative energy through half shut eyes, deep breathing and god awful music and fucking chanting… Cut that shit out Bill… It will kill what’s inside of you. Remember what happened to Hemingway? Don’t flirt with Buddhism, that’s for fakes and ponces. Commit to it all the way to the temple or leave it the hell alone…The time is now…when you feel it burning in your soul like you do right now, you have to let it out. Better to burn out than fade away…Let it burn Bill…don’t extuingish it like a flame on a candle or you will fizzle out with it…My absence left a gaping hole in your life that nothing else will fill…you need it…want it…it haunts you at night in your dreams…no amount of therapy will exorcise me…come on…thaat’s it Bill…come on over to me…you want to feel the hit gush through you…I know Bill…it’s okay…all is forgiven…thaat’s it Bill…eeaase back in…everything is right here where you left it in this room…That’s good Bill…do you feel it calling to you…longing for you…yessss. It’s who you are Jim, what you are meant to be…It’s right there in front of you Bill, there on the table…you see it?
That’s right Bill…gooood…goood…Pick it up…That shaking hand, those tremors in your bones will wash away with the first stroke…now pick up that brush and paint something……
Foxing Lignin: Warren’s Beard (extract) taken from Ruin Value, a compilation of recent works.
There’s a devil crawling along your floor, he’s hungry and he’s sore. You tell me L is for love but its also for losing everything you have, but M is always for murder any old time. So lift up your dress and I’ll seize the throne. I am what I am… Lying by your side, you might think I’m asleep when you look in my eyes but I’m patiently waiting for your breathing to deepen then I’m outside the door, down the street bucking and yelping and fucking. I’m coming down on everything you do… I can’t answer your prayers so let it all burns down so help me I am what I am. I’m weak and I’m stupid and trembling and sore give me more for my dirty and poor. So here I stand my hands are bound I have no choice. I’m not going to hurt you although I am out in the night slaying for answers… I am what I am am… You don’t know who I am this man by your side tearing souls and rendering fear clawing and howling your name forever amen…take off your dress because you know there’s been men like me since the world began…it all burn down so help me, I am what I am…I’m stupid and I’m sordid and I’m filthy and I’m poor…I’m crawling up the walls I’m shouting your name as I wait at her door.
Give me more
Give me more
Give me more